My Little Rose

Updated November 14th 1998

(Angels for Rosita)

My daughter found me!  See "God's Guiding Hand"

They say that "time heals all wounds", but no amount of time can heal the wound that was caused by having my child taken away from me.  No one can fill these empty arms that longed to hold you tight and protect you from all harm.  Rosita,  I love you so much my child.  You are in my heart and in my prayers always.  I was but a child myself when you were conceived yet in my heart I knew that no matter what I would have this baby.    Your life was more important to me that my own and I'd do what I did a thousand times over again to keep you from hurting the way that I have.   I just pray that God has watched over you as I have asked Him to and I know somehow he has. 

 But still there is that nagging feeling that every mother gets when she is thinking about a child that she loves.  My concern for you is real and I want you to have the chances in life that I never had. Love is the most important thing that anyone can give you and I hope that you have been given the love you needed to help you grow into a strong and confident young woman. 

 Nothing can ever take your place in my heart honey.  I hope you know this in your heart and don't think that I didn't love you.  I was so young when I had you and abortion was not even an alternative as far as I was concerned.  You are a separate human being in your own right even if I had to carry you for nine months of my life.  You had a right to your life and it was not mine to take. 

And baby as for it being an inconvenience forget it!  It was not that at all!  It was a joy!   To lay awake at night waiting for you to kick me and then turning over to go to sleep and you started kicking. To feel you grow ever stronger within me each day.  I have never in my life felt as good as when I carried you.  You brought joy to my life for the short time that you  were in it and I wouldn't take anything in the world for that time of my life. 

 Yes I've made mistakes but you were not one of them!  You were a gift from God and I will always believe that.  My daughter, My lovely daughter!  I may never be able to regain what I lost when you were taken out of my life but I will always treasure what you have given me.  If you only knew my child.   No love is like a mother's love! And although I know you had no control over it I just want to thank you for the love that you brought to my heart. 

I've grieved for more than 20 years now over losing you and my dreams have been haunted by thoughts of what I could have done to keep you.  But all that is said and done can not be undone.   So I will live for our tomorrows that hopefully we can spend at least a few of together.  I want to share so much with you.  I just hope you can relate to me and that you don't hold what I did against me. 

Know this...that I wouldn't hurt you for anything in the world.  You are my child and even though I didn't have the honor of raising you as such, I love you.  And I am grateful to the people who did raise you and I am sure that they have been wonderful parents to you.  For this I have prayed many times.  I hope you were raised knowing that you were loved.  My darling daughter ....I love you.  Your birth mother ...Debra........ 

My daughter was born on May the 18th in the year 1974 at Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas, Texas.  The adoption was private and the lawyers name was Albert J. Leviton.  I named my daughter Rosita Marie Smith and the birth index shows her birth certificate with that name on it.   I have been told that it would have been easier to find her had I not named her, but it is my belief that one day we will be together again.  God put us together once and he can do it once more.

If you think that you may be the one I am looking for, please don't be afraid to contact me.  I will accept you and love you no matter what and I hope you will do the same.  If all you want to do is see me and just know who I am, I will accept that also. (Although, I would rather we be friends.)  I do not and never will expect you to call me mom (unless you want to) or to turn your back on your Adoptive Parents. (You had better NOT!)  They are and shall always be your parents and I understand this very well.  But it may be that you will need a friend... a very good friend ... to turn to later in life or now.  If that is so... here I am. I will always be here for you.  Just give me a chance.

Love, Deb